It’s 2017 & I am (admittedly) the worst at updating my blog. But I recently had a tarot reading with my friend Kevin from Tarot Society & we both agreed that I needed more air – communication – in my life. So here goes nothing…
2016 was a really fucking hard year. It had so many awesome projects, clients & interns. But I ended the year feeling burnt out, tired, and really (genuinely) depressed. It just didn’t make sense to me how something I loved so much (my business) could make me so tremendously unhappy. But it did. It really really did. So I stopped doing… Everything. I stopped taking inquiries, I flaked on friends and colleagues, I didn’t answer any of my emails for probably 2 months straight (sorry!) & I watched so much bad bad terrible TV. I let my brain turn to mush. And I gave up on my business for a while.
But I also started seeing a psychiatrist – in addition to my wonderful therapist. And I started to understand that I was depressed. That I had always had a very high-functioning anxiety disorder that was hidden by perfectionism and high performance. That I was really bad at taking care of myself. And that the way I was running my business was not helping any of these things… At all. And in fact, it was making me crazy and unhealthy and not very fun to be around.
So I ran away from my business (bad) – but I finally started taking care of myself (good). I started taking an anti-depressant – which was way less scary than I thought it would be. I started listening and reading to stories about people with depression, which in turn made it easier to start talking about my own depression. I stopped beating myself up for “failing” and started thinking about the future. And I asked for help. Which was probably the hardest thing. But I got it – from friends, from family & from total strangers too.
So here I am. It’s February 2017 and I’m coming back to the Hell Yes Design Studio.
But I’m making some changes to the way I do things & also to what I do. First and foremost, I’m going to be a good boss to myself & take as many beach days I want this summer. Secondly, I’m expanding my services to include environmental design for agencies, brands, offices, retailers & interiors. I’ll be updating my services page really soon!
And finally, I’m going to bring all of you – the makers, creatives, and weirdos – into the work that I do. I want to start something that will build community and help bring happiness + joy into the world through our creativity. And I want to help creative people get paid to do what they do best. I’m thinking workshops, a speaker series, and lots & lots of wine.
If you’re interested in being a part of it – whatever it’s going to become – why don’t you sign up for my newsletter?
In the mean time, I just want to say that if there are any small biz owners or creative people feeling sad or depressed or hopeless – it’s going to be okay. And if you want to talk about it, need a hug or just want to bitch, I’m here – firstname.lastname@example.org.
Also, I’m available for freelance design or creative work! So if you have anything coming up that you need help with, let me know. : )